I haven't been sleeping lately. Many nights, I check the clock doing the Sleep Math..."okay, if I fall asleep RIGHT NOW I can get 5 hours" and then an hour later "if I fall asleep right now, I can get 4 hours..." and the sleep never comes. I just have too much on my mind. Playing the part of a single mom during this season means that sleep aid medications aren't an option - they completely knock me out and if my son needs me in the night I need to be able to wake up and function. So I've been subsisting on 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night. It's never enough.
Until last night. Yesterday was a really hard day. It was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. I had cried so hard yesterday that my contacts were mucked up and I took them out to clean them. I read my son a few books, and tucked him in. He asked for hugs, like he usually does. I usually just lay there and hug him until he falls asleep and then slink off to my own bed. Last night, I passed out.
The last thing I remember is my sweet baby boy slinging his arm around my neck as he said "Mama, I love you" and he kissed me on the nose. And then it came to me. I fully succumbed to deep, slack-jawed, drooling and snoring sleep. I came to around 4:45 in the morning. I thought of my friend Peter, who was already rising for his day and thought maybe I'd do that. Then I thought "yeah right" as I fumbled to my own bedroom and snuggled under the blankets. I arose around 8:50, and I feel like a new person.
I made myself a cup of coffee out of habit but I might not even drink it. I am kind of bummed that I woke up before my alarm clock went off, because today would have been a great day to hear the wake up track that was ready to play at 9:00.
India.Arie
"A Beautiful Day"
Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now
Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all of the things that I am grateful for
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gonna do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day
Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like you’ve got something to prove
Remind yourself that there’s only one you
Just take a moment to give thanks for who you are
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gonna do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day
Let’s make this a wonderful
Let’s make this a powerful
Let’s make this a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day
Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now
No comments:
Post a Comment