Where is the love?

Last night was our last shelter night of "the season". I don't know why there even *is* a "season". Is there some memo that goes out to the homeless people that at the end of May, nobody is homeless? (I missed that memo.) So don't even get me started on the season. It makes no sense to me.

I am both greatly relieved and also deeply saddened to be done. Coordinating the site was a major pain, I'm not gonna lie to you. But it was also a great experience for me and my family. It really helped me focus on all the good things I have in my life and everything I have to be grateful for, even when things are tough for us with no relief on the horizon.

I'm not sure our old church has the same passion for community service that my family has. It seemed to be a struggle each month to get adequate food and help for the shelter. In the end it was always outsiders, not church members who came through for us. This led to some deep feelings of what I will kindly call disenchantment with our old church. Hence, it is the old church and we have moved on to a new church whose passions and views align more closely with our own. As a matter of fact, our new church is the group that bailed us out last night when we came up short on food donations. Our new Pastor even cooked for us and brought over food that his family donated! Whereas, when I asked our old church if they could have our old Pastor make an announcement from the pulpit that we desperately needed help, I was told no because they save him "for the big stuff." Excuse me? We had 70 people at the shelter last night who were hungry and didn't have a place to call home. How does that not constitute "big stuff"?

A few of the guests last night were little ones. Small children, about Moose's age. I was setting the tables for dinner when I saw the families outside waiting to come in and I couldn't help but cry. That could be us with our little guy. It could have easily been us. I don't understand why the members of our old church community weren't more generous with their time and resources. Since we are not going to be attending our old church and since I feel so disappointed with trying to lead people towards compassion when they have no desire to do so, I will not be back as the old church's coordinator. Of course I didn't tell them that, I told them I might be moving so I was stepping down. Which is totally true - we still don't know where we'll land permanently. I'll instead be helping the shelter ministry through our new church while we're here in Naperville for as long as that may be. I'm happy that we will still have the opportunity to "have compassion, making a difference" by putting shoes on Christ's love and bringing it to people who need it.

I popped in to check and make sure everything was cleaned up and all the leftover food had been distributed to needy families in our community this morning. As I pulled out of the parking lot heading home, the Black Eyed Peas shuffled up on my iPod. And just like them, I'm wondering...where is the love?

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love?

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction...
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself

Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?

I just gotta dance.

My friend Michelle flew in last week for a quick visit. It was, perhaps, the best and most fun 46 hours I've had in a long time! Michelle wanted to see the sights of Chicago, so we took the train downtown and chased the landmarks she wanted to see. We walked Union Station, toured Navy Pier and rode the ferris wheel, saw Wrigley Field, had a drink at the Cubby Bear, stalked cupcakes in Lincoln Park, cruised the Mag Mile, passed Millennium Park and "the bean", then landed back at Union Station to say goodbye. As we left the cupcake place (Molly's, which was AMAZING and seriously everybody should go there!) we passed a cute little boutique with a hand painted decorative sign in the window that said, "Life isn't about waiting out the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain." and I loved it. It made me realize that is what I've been doing lately. I'm trying to not stress, I'm trying to just enjoy life. Who knows what job Tim will get next. Maybe he'll have to travel a lot. So, I'm just trying to enjoy the family time that we have together. And right there, on the spot, as I read that plaque and it spoke to my core, I vowed...next time I rained, I was going outside to dance. It was Wednesday.

Last night, we were grilling out when I realized I had run out of barbecue sauce. Mon horreur! I zipped to the store, grabbed a couple bottles and ran out to the car. On my way back to the car, it started raining. It was one of those perfect, gentle spring rains that stopped as quickly as it had started. It just kind of cleaned the air and left that unmistakable fresh scent behind. As the rain kissed my cheeks while I dashed to the car, I remembered my promise to myself. So I did what any other perfectly rational, responsible 34 year old mother would do. I slipped into the car behind the wheel, turned the key, cranked up the radio, opened the windows and the sunroof and as I cruised home in the rain...I danced.

Oh wow, so much yum!

I wanted bagels yesterday, but I didn't have any. I did, however, have flour, salt, sugar and yeast so I made my own. They are amazing. I won't be buying bagels again. Not when I can make my own that taste better than Panera!

Bread Machine Bagels

1-1/3 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
2 teaspoons salt
2 tablespoons and 2 teaspoons white sugar
4 cups bread flour
1 tablespoon active dry yeast
16 cups boiling water
1/4 cup white sugar
cornmeal for dusting
egg white

1. Place water, salt, sugar, flour and yeast in the bread machine pan in the order recommended by the manufacturer. Select Dough setting.
2. When cycle is complete, let dough rest on a lightly floured surface. Meanwhile, in a large pot bring 16 c of water to a boil. Stir in 1/4 c of sugar.
3. Cut dough into 12 equal pieces, and roll each piece into a small ball. Flatten balls. Poke a hole in the middle of each with your thumb. Twirl the dough on your finger or thumb to enlarge the hole, and to even out the dough around the hole. Cover bagels with a clean cloth, and let rest for 30 minutes.
4. Sprinkle an ungreased baking sheet with cornmeal. Carefully transfer bagels to boiling water. Boil for 1 minute, turning half way through. Drain briefly on clean towel. Arrange boiled bagels on baking sheet. Glaze tops with egg white if desired, and sprinkle with your choice of toppings.
5. Bake in a preheated 375 degree F (190 degrees C) oven for 18 to 20 minutes, until browned.

My notes:

Check your dough while it mixes in the bread machine. I found that the amount of water noted here wasn't quite enough to make a good sticky dough to blend all the flour in. I ended up adding maybe a scant 1/4 c of warm water to my bread machine.

I divided my dough after it came out of the bread machine. I left half of the dough plain, and to the other half of the dough I gingerly kneaded in 1/2 t cinnamon and 1/4 c raisins.

On the plain bagels, after shaping and the second rising I sprinkled them with a mixture of sea salt and garlic powder with a blanket of shredded cheddar cheese on top.

I sprinkled the cinnamon raisin bagels with a dusting of cinnamon vanilla sugar prior to baking.

I did not glaze any of the bagels with egg white, and they came out lovely. Also, I simply greased my baking sheet instead of using cornmeal (I used all my cornmeal to kill the ants this Spring!) and the bagels weren't any worse for the wear.