Dinner and a show

So, most of my friends know Mister. Mister is a very kind, generous, gentle, brilliant person. Sometimes he's so brainy he fails to be smart.

Tonight was our night at the homeless shelter and Mister came home from work early to make sure we could make it there on time. Mister also had a job interview today with a recruiter (who blew him off - why are people so flaky?). So he had dressed up in nice slacks and dress shoes and asked me to please bring him jeans and his tennies. No problem.

So my brother helped pack up the car with Moose, all the food donations from us and our friends, Tim's clothes, snacks for Moose, etc. We picked Mister up at the train station and headed towards the church where we host the shelter. After unloading all the food donations, Mister headed back to the car to get his clothes. Thinking he was alone, he decided to just change beside the Jeep in the church parking lot. So he steps out of his dress slacks, bends into the Jeep to grab his jeans, looks up only to see a NUN watching him change while "reading" her Bible in her car. Apparently she put on her glasses to watch the show!

That's right, folks. Mister is now so desperate for a new job that he's stripping for nuns in the church parking lot. *sigh* Shake what your mama gave ya, I guess. ;)

I get by with a little help from my friends

I have been blessed with some of the best friends in the world. I hardly think it's because as a child I was wise enough to surround myself with good people that I knew would be by my side for life. I just got lucky. Really, REALLY lucky.

There's Jen, who grew up across the street from me. I've known her since I was four. She sent me some passes to the resort water park that she is the Controller of, so my family would have a cheap little getaway. How awesome is that?

There's Brandi, who I met in Bible college, and is one of the dearest friends of my heart. She lives miles and miles away, but is only ever a phone call away. She's going through the same thing we are right now, they've just been on the U.S.S. Unemployment Failboat for a longer cruise than we have. She's been there to love and support me with prayers and wisdom that my heart needed. Whatever would I do without my Branmuffin? I don't even want to think about it.

There's Liz, who I met through our parenting group. Her kids love playing with Moose, when we get together they pretty much babysit themselves. She's been there to listen to me cry even when I'm crying so hard she probably can't even understand what I'm saying. When Tim lost his job, she brought over a gigantic bottle of Shiraz, and sat with me, listened to me, and cared for me when I felt so very much alone and small and afraid.

And last but far from least, there's Chris. Chris, who has been my friend since high school, and just might be the smartest person I know. Chris, who has taught me the ways of the Coupon Jedi. Without Chris, I don't know how we would eat. Seriously. When we add up unemployment income then subtract rent and our car note and utilities there isn't a speck of money left for food or milk. But with couponing, there's a way. She even took a day off of work this past week and went shopping with me. I've been so deeply depressed I couldn't make heads or tails out of how to work the deals. She walked with me through the store, loaded the cart with me and then as I stood in produce, looking at the cart's contents, struggling with how to check out best in order to minimize how much I spent out of pocket, she patiently waited with me while I shook my head and sat, puzzled. Then, she went through the checkout for me and patiently rang my orders for me, handing me fistfuls of catalinas good for more free food. She took me to Super Target, and pressed a stack of coupons for $2 off of meat into my hands (that was on sale for $2.49 a pound, find the right package and it's nearly free). I can barely fit any more into my freezer. I have 12 dinners worth of angus beef for less than $10, thanks to Chris. As we parted to go home from the Jewel parking lot, I hugged her and thanked her for teaching me how to still feed my family. Seriously, I don't know how we'd make it without knowing how to work the deals the way Chris has taught me.

I'm so thankful for my friends.

Joe Dirt Joe Dirt Joe Dirt. Or, Welcome to my Emotional Garbage Can.

This is how I've been feeling lately. I feel like I was staring at the Grand Canyon, enjoying the most beautiful place on earth, and then I turned around only to find that I had been abandoned by The One who was always supposed to be there for me.

It's all of my worst fears realized. I can't stop crying. I am terrified. I feel so alone. I sat in my car, crying the other day, parked outside of CVS with Moose sleeping in the back and I was just overwhelmed. I cried and cried and cried and stared up at the sky, asking "Do You even see me? Do You even know I'm here? Don't You see me hurting? Don't You care that I'm afraid? Where are You? Why have You left me all alone?" Seriously, I don't understand. Why is God doing this to me?

I've started having the stereotypical nightmares about losing my teeth. Apparently, this dream means you're worried about losing all your money. ORLY? Ya don't say.

I feel like I'm clawing, clinging to the tiny crumbs of hope that God brushes off His table to me, here on the ground. Why is He only letting me have the crumbs?

I keep paddling and kicking and crying and screaming in a sea of overwhelming sorrow. I'm praying that one day I'll look up, and realize that this pool I've been struggling in was in the palm of my Father's hand the whole time. It certainly doesn't feel like it right now.

I would like to go back to coordinating the homeless shelter now. Not, you know, figuring out how to move into it.

Please, God...can't You make this just a tiny bit easier?